Figuring out whether or not a guy likes you can be the most nerve wrecking experience when it comes to dating and relationships.

When I was in college, I spent and entire year trying to figure out whether a guy liked me or not. Eventually I decided to just be upfront and ask him.

Turns out he was not in fact interested. I really wished I had asked sooner and saved myself a year of analyzing and dissecting the male brain.

From then on I decided to always assume a guy is just being friendly unless he says or does something that expresses otherwise.

If he does not say it, his actions need to be consistent before I attach any meaning to them.

Otherwise he is just being a good friend. If I find his actions confusing, I will always just ask directly.

First here are some signs that he does NOT like you.

If he does these things, it is best that you begin to detach from the idea of you and him and start looking elsewhere.

If after reading this you are still not convinced, just bite the bullet and ask him.

It is 2020, women do not need to drive themselves crazy over mixed signals anymore.

1. He does not want to hang out or says he does but cancels.

Sometimes a guy can tell that you like them and they do not want to give you false hope so they find excuses to get themselves out of situations with just the two of you.

2. He does not pay keen attention to what you say

If you complain that he does not listen to you or that he only half listens, there you have it.

Also, if he listens but does not pay attention or remember important details.

3. Makes no effort to groom himself

I have grown up with a lot of men and one thing has always been true for all of them despite their different personalities.

They are incredibly self conscious with women they like. They always try to look good for her. 

If he puts no effort into how he looks, it is because he is very comfortable with you, friend zone level comfort.

4. He mentions other women to you.

The best bet is that he is not trying to make you jealous. He may not even notice that you are feeling jealous.

5. Body language

The lack of eye contact, gentle touch, smiling and so on are pretty strong indicators that he does not like you in that way.

Also, if he seems uncomfortable when you touch him, please stop.

Girls get away with being touchy when if a guy did the same, it would be called harassment.

6. He treats you the same as other people

Here is how to know a nice guy or a social butterfly does not like you, see how he interacts with other people.

If a guy treats you like one of the bros, you know you are in the friendzone.

7. Does not include you in his life

If he does not introduce you to his other friends or does not share details about his life with you, he is not interested.

After knowing a guy for sometime, if he is still holding you at arms length, it is not because he is shy or closed off, he does not like you and that is okay.


As women we need to realize that making a connection with someone does not mean they are meant for us and we will never find someone like them again.

Forming connections is easier than you think.

There are so many deep, interesting, great guys out there and you can bond with any of them over quite literally a million little or big things.

If a guy you like does not like you, let it go and get back out there and try to form connections with other guys.

Do not focus so much on one guy to the exclusion of other great guys that ARE interested.


1. He makes plans to see you.

While a guy who does not like you cancels and avoids seeing you.

A guy who likes you looks for ways to see you again.

2. Pays attention when you speak

In the early stages of getting to know someone, everything they say seems absolutely fascinating.

When a guy likes you, you can tell by just how interested they are in what you have to say.

They want to know more about you. That is why you can spend hours on the phone or in person.

You can spend hours with a guy who does not like you but that time will be spent with you as his therapist.

3. Body language

When a guy likes you, he looks at you with interest and intrigue.

He finds little ways to touch you like on your hand or shoulder or just sitting close to you.

He is going to be a little self conscious so you may notice him grooming himself in little ways like pushing back his hair or slightly straightening his tie.

4. Gets jealous

When a guy likes you even before he says it or knows it yet, the first indicator is usually being territorial. 

I am not talking about excessive jealousy.

If he seems overly concerned about a guy friend of yours or asks questions about other guys, he is probably checking out the competition.

5. Acts differently around you and treats you differently

This one is an obvious sign that most girls miss because they are so caught up in them and the guy that they forget to watch him with other people.

Does he open doors for all the girls or just you?

Is he the kind of guy who has a lot of female friends or just you?

Watch him with his friends and with other women and you will quickly be able to tell if you are special or not.

6. Goes to great lengths to make you happy

If you were just a friend, he wouldn’t drive for an hour to get you a taco from your favorite taco place just because you mentioned it.

If he does cute things just to make you happy.

If he opens up to make you feel comfortable or makes sacrifices to help you like spending a weekend to help you move, he likes you and probably thinks he is stuck in the friend zone.

7. Takes care of how he looks

If a guy starts caring about how he looks when the two of you are meeting, he has recently discovered his feeling for you.

If he has always taken extra care of himself just to come and see you, he has always liked you.

Obviously this is relative to how he usually looks other time.

8. Supports you

A guy who supports you is either a great friend or if you have just recently met, likes you. Yes, that is why he bought five of your pottery pieces.

9. Includes you in his life

If he opens up to you about details of his life or asks you to hang out with his other friends, he likes you.

In fact he thinks you are incredible and worth introducing to his friends

10. He says it

I know. Shocker. Maybe he told you he likes you but you are reading this article just to be sure.

Hey, I know. Maybe he just said it because he thought it was what you wanted to hear.

Very much possible.

So after he has said it, you will know if he was being real by him saying it again and him doing most of the things in this list.

Words can be empty but actions do not lie.

In conclusion, I just want you to not invest all your emotions and time into just one guy who you are not even sure likes you or not.

I do not even want you to spend all your effort and time in guys and relationships. These things will come to you.

Focus on building a beautiful life and interacting with as many interesting people as you can, you never know who you will connect with.

For my Christian ladies you know that God has someone planned for you. Stop praying over and over for that same guy.

The more you do, the more emotionally invested you become. Guard your heart sis. 

Start praying for your future husband, whoever he is, and accept that it may not be this particular guy.

Comment down below if you think he likes you or not.